February 2012
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Schmidt: But we haven’t even gotten to the cheese course. A little sharp-aged cheddar. Manchego. Some buttery Gruyère. You sure you want to miss out? I’m going to slowly peel the wax off your baby bells. [...] How about a little stinky Taleggio?
Cece: Why is this working? I’m so turned on right now.
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I know 12-year-olds are vicious, vengeful creatures. Middle School girls...
– Jess
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CeCe: If someone catches us, then I'm going to say that you're drugging me, and it's my word against yours.
Schmidt: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
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Schmidt: Where's your boyfriend?
CeCe: We're meeting up later because he has a little surprise for me.
Schmidt: Spoiler: it's his penis.
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I’ve got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!
– Jess
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Schmidt: Here we go again. Another text message from Laura. Look at that: “Tokyo call at 11.” This is driving me crazy — what is she trying to say?
Winston: I’m not an expert at your industry at all, but it sounds like there’s a call... from Tokyo... sometime today. Oh, wait, at 11.
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We are about to have a ménage à trois because you won’t admit that you are...
– Nick
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My boss and I, we’re running a pre-sex marathon right now, and I feel like we’re...
– Schmidt
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Nick, where is this bitch? I’m going to smack the lawyer-learning right out of...
– CeCe
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I’m about to go pay this $800 fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on...
– Jess
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I’m having sex all the time. I’m like a mailman, except instead of mail, it’s...
– Nick